Q&A With Kristen

Greg here, I thought it would be interesting to get into the mind of Kristen a little bit and see what we can find out about her experiences and why we are doing what we are doing. I had a conversation with Kristen a while ago and here are a couple of questions from that conversation and her answers. I feel it is important to sit down with our spouse and talk and this gave us a chance to do it. This is not all of the conversation not by a long shot but I feel that these two questions are important and lets you know what we are up to and some of the challenges that we have. 

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What has been the most challenging for you over the past couple of years?

Probably not buying all the clothes I want.

Or maybe it's the tight grocery budget.

But then there's all the shoes I haven't bought and the projects around the house that we've put on hold.

Then there's the fact that you are gone all the time working, that's hard.

Telling the kids "no, not right now", that's been rough.

All those things have been frustrating but I think the hardest part has been being patient. It takes time to clean up a serious mess. I get a huge rush when we make a payment but then we have to wait 2 weeks or so to make another one. We're doing everything that we can to make progress but during that waiting time I start to feel like we're not making progress. Patiently waiting while we are doing all that we can is difficult. I think that is the hardest part of all!

You mentioned patience has been a challenge. What do you do to help keep you motivated even though you don't feel like you're moving forward? And a follow up question; what tips do you have for those feeling the same way?

Well the sarcastic answer is that I don't really have a choice, now do I?

Although I guess that's not completely true. We're down to our last 2 student loans and while they're big, if we just made the minimum payments it would free up a lot of room in our budget. Those loans would get paid off eventually and right now we'd be able to buy all those things we, okay I, feel like I'm missing out on. 

But that's not an option, is it? We want to be done with this part of our lives so that we can move on to the next stage. Like a bigger home. And college for the kids. And travel. And a car for Greg that was made in this century. We can't do any of those things with this debt hanging over our heads.

We still have a long way to go and it can get discouraging. Here are a few things that have really helped Greg and I stay focused. 

First we make sure and look back at all the progress we've made. We have a thermometer on our back door that we color in to show the amount of money that we have paid off and how much further we have to go. I hadn't filled it in for a couple of months so one night I sat down and ran the numbers. I was blown away! I couldn't believe how much we really were paying off. The payments don't always feel that big and it happens over such an extended period of time so it doesn't feel like much, but seeing the progress we are making really gave us that boost of motivation that sometimes disappears.

Another helpful thing is having that "Why", that reason why we're sacrificing. From the outside looking in we look like crazy people; we don't go out to eat (ever), we rarely buy new clothes (it's ALWAYS consignment stores for us) and we say no to almost every extra (I'm talking to you Target Dollar Spot). Why are we willing to live like this? 

It's because we have 5 wonderful children. They are our why. Everything that we do is to help them and bless their lives. Giving them parents that aren't worried about money and that have a plan is the greatest gift of all. Money problems are the number one cause of divorce in North America, that terrifies Greg and I so if there is something that we can do to put our marriage on a solid foundation, we're all for it.

Even if it means no Cheesecake Factory.
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There are a lot of things that can make us lose our focus on our goals. I agree with Kristen that we need to remember the Why of everything that we do. 

Why do we want to get out of debt? so we can dictate where we want our money to go and not lenders. 

Why do we want to save for retirement? Because we want to retire with dignity and to do meaningful things with ourselves. 

And the most important Why so we can leave a legacy to our children and give them the tools needed to be great stewards of the money God has given them. 

Big Dreams

My definition of wealth isn't a big house or real jewelry or even a luxury car*.

No, none of those will make me feel like I've hit the big time.

Here's what will.

When I go shopping and laundry soap is on my list I'll head straight for the Tide** and I won't even think twice. I'll throw that big ol' economy size jug in my cart and I might even go crazy and get TWO!

Yep, laundry soap does it for me.

It's the unmistakable Tide smell and the fact that our clothes always, always come out clean.

Right now Tide is out of our budget. It's just so expensive. Yes, it does work really great. Consumer Reports consistently rates it as the top laundry detergent, but I can't justify that kind of cost when we're watching every dollar.

It's kinda funny that something silly like laundry soap would be such a motivator but it is, at least for me. I want to be at the point in my financial life when a price difference of $6 won't feel like a make or break decision.

Of course I could also look for Tide on the black market. Seriously. It's a "commonly shoplifted and resold good" (CR, 19). But I'm thinking that might have moral implications, I'm not sure how I'd feel about doing laundry with ill- gotten super powered laundry magic.

*let the record state that I would never say no to any of those things, assuming of course we had the cash for them...

**I know this post read like an ad but I promise, I wasn't paid to say any of these things. I just really love Tide. It's like liquid laundry gold, except it's blue and smells like heaven. I don't know what gold smells like.

Consumer Reports. September 2015.

Some Family's Slideshow!

by Kristen

One of the requests for our family reunion was to put together a video of your family, you know, a "show off the awesome stuff you do" kinda video. I was afraid the people in charge* would stake me out and leave me for the bears so a couple nights before the kids and I left, Greg and I chained ourselves to the computer and dug through digital clutter to find a few gems.

We were mostly successful. Enjoy!!

*my family's actually not that scary... usually

Song Credit: It Passes All My Understanding by Cherie Call

Scratch. Scratch.

I was rounding up the kids, trying to get them in their pajamas and settled in tents. Greg couldn't come to the Young Family Reunion (pesky work) so it was just me, my 5 kids and my nephew. Oh and a ton of aunts and uncles and cousins and grandmas and grandpas to help out so it wasn't like I was totally on my own but you know how bedtime is... you against the world.

Maggie was finally settled in her half of the tent with the sound machine cranked all the way, drowning out all those pesky sounds of nature. As I was walking back from my final herding mission I came across Anna holding a crying Nathan by the hand. She said "he peed his pants and now he's crying because his legs are hurting".

Great. "Thanks Anna". Hugs and kisses for her and then she was off to sleep with her cousins in their hotel deluxe (meaning a trailer, no canvas walls for them). I walked Nathan back to the Miles' tent compound, him screaming all the way. Once we got back I pulled his clothes off and started to wipe him off with baby wipes.

That's when the screaming really started, I was certain the sound machine wasn't going to drown out that much noise so thinking quick I wrapped his naked little body in a blanket and carried him to the nearby water spigot. I said "okay, this is what we're going to do; I'm going to put you down and unwrap you. I need you to rinse off your legs in the nice, cool water. Can you do that?"

"But someone might see me, I'm naked".

"Yes, I know you're naked but look how dark it is, I think you'll be okay". He tentatively stuck one leg in, then the other and then the fun started.

"Oh yeah! I'm sticking my bum in the water! (shake, shake, shake) I can turn around! Oh yeah! (shake, shake, shake) Look at me, I'm playing in water! (continue shaking)".

"Fun's over big guy. Let's go".

I wrapped him up again and took him back, got him dressed and in bed. Meanwhile Grant and my nephew were technically in their sleeping bags but were playing with flashlights. What is it about flashlights? You'd think they discovered the power of light when they're holding a AA powered beam. Shadow puppets. Flashlight tag. Spooky faces. All while there's a toddler sleeping in the next tent over.

Flashlights were confiscated. Prayers were said. Threats were issued. Silence reigned.

I went to get myself ready for bed, as I came back to the tents, Grant popped out of the boy's tent, holding his face with one hand and his glasses with the other. Blood was dripping everywhere.

Son of a... "What happened?"

"I don't know. All of a sudden my nose was bleeding and my glasses were somehow broken."

Right. Bleeding stopped. Glasses mangled beyond (my) repair. Boys back in bed. More threats. More silence.

I crawled into my side of my tent and laid down to read my scriptures. I was beyond exhausted. Maggie was still quiet and the boys were settled down. I was just about to drift off when I heard "scratch... scratch..."

Silence. Then more "scratch... scratch..."

Crap. It's the bear that our over- informative campground host had told us about. It was probably lured in by the copious amounts of blood that had just come out of my son's nose.

More scratching. Then I saw it. A large black shape passing by my tent.

Do I scream bear and wake up everyone? Do I yell for help? What the heck am I supposed to do??!!

The scratching stopped. I didn't see another blob. I started to think it was just my imagination and then it started again.

"Scratch.  Scratch."

I grabbed my flashlight, zipped open my tent and leaped out. Shining my flashlight all around. I didn't see anything. Of course I didn't have my contacts in... but I didn't see any suspicious blobs. I settled back into my air hammock (that's an air mattress that's lost most of it's air, they're uber fancy and only available to exhausted parents that just can't handle the thought of actually turning the pump on).

It was quiet again and I really started to think I could sleep. Should have known better. Just a few minutes later the scratching started again. This time it was to my right and all the kids were to my left so I knew it wasn't one of them. I turned my flashlight on and looked all around my tent.

That's when I saw it. Close to where my head had been. A bug longer than my first finger. Seriously, no exaggeration. It was huge. I didn't scream (kudos to me). I didn't want to smash it because I didn't know if a gallon of venom would come out. I grabbed a nearby diaper (clean, don't worry), scooped up the creature from the deep, unzipped the tent door and threw out the diaper and bug, all in one!

It only took about an hour for my heart to stop racing. And no, I still don't know what the black shape was, it probably was a bear but it was scared off by the sound machine. Man, those things are loud.