Big Dreams

My definition of wealth isn't a big house or real jewelry or even a luxury car*.

No, none of those will make me feel like I've hit the big time.

Here's what will.

When I go shopping and laundry soap is on my list I'll head straight for the Tide** and I won't even think twice. I'll throw that big ol' economy size jug in my cart and I might even go crazy and get TWO!

Yep, laundry soap does it for me.

It's the unmistakable Tide smell and the fact that our clothes always, always come out clean.

Right now Tide is out of our budget. It's just so expensive. Yes, it does work really great. Consumer Reports consistently rates it as the top laundry detergent, but I can't justify that kind of cost when we're watching every dollar.

It's kinda funny that something silly like laundry soap would be such a motivator but it is, at least for me. I want to be at the point in my financial life when a price difference of $6 won't feel like a make or break decision.

Of course I could also look for Tide on the black market. Seriously. It's a "commonly shoplifted and resold good" (CR, 19). But I'm thinking that might have moral implications, I'm not sure how I'd feel about doing laundry with ill- gotten super powered laundry magic.

*let the record state that I would never say no to any of those things, assuming of course we had the cash for them...

**I know this post read like an ad but I promise, I wasn't paid to say any of these things. I just really love Tide. It's like liquid laundry gold, except it's blue and smells like heaven. I don't know what gold smells like.

Consumer Reports. September 2015.

Some Family's Slideshow!

by Kristen

One of the requests for our family reunion was to put together a video of your family, you know, a "show off the awesome stuff you do" kinda video. I was afraid the people in charge* would stake me out and leave me for the bears so a couple nights before the kids and I left, Greg and I chained ourselves to the computer and dug through digital clutter to find a few gems.

We were mostly successful. Enjoy!!

*my family's actually not that scary... usually

Song Credit: It Passes All My Understanding by Cherie Call

Scratch. Scratch.

I was rounding up the kids, trying to get them in their pajamas and settled in tents. Greg couldn't come to the Young Family Reunion (pesky work) so it was just me, my 5 kids and my nephew. Oh and a ton of aunts and uncles and cousins and grandmas and grandpas to help out so it wasn't like I was totally on my own but you know how bedtime is... you against the world.

Maggie was finally settled in her half of the tent with the sound machine cranked all the way, drowning out all those pesky sounds of nature. As I was walking back from my final herding mission I came across Anna holding a crying Nathan by the hand. She said "he peed his pants and now he's crying because his legs are hurting".

Great. "Thanks Anna". Hugs and kisses for her and then she was off to sleep with her cousins in their hotel deluxe (meaning a trailer, no canvas walls for them). I walked Nathan back to the Miles' tent compound, him screaming all the way. Once we got back I pulled his clothes off and started to wipe him off with baby wipes.

That's when the screaming really started, I was certain the sound machine wasn't going to drown out that much noise so thinking quick I wrapped his naked little body in a blanket and carried him to the nearby water spigot. I said "okay, this is what we're going to do; I'm going to put you down and unwrap you. I need you to rinse off your legs in the nice, cool water. Can you do that?"

"But someone might see me, I'm naked".

"Yes, I know you're naked but look how dark it is, I think you'll be okay". He tentatively stuck one leg in, then the other and then the fun started.

"Oh yeah! I'm sticking my bum in the water! (shake, shake, shake) I can turn around! Oh yeah! (shake, shake, shake) Look at me, I'm playing in water! (continue shaking)".

"Fun's over big guy. Let's go".

I wrapped him up again and took him back, got him dressed and in bed. Meanwhile Grant and my nephew were technically in their sleeping bags but were playing with flashlights. What is it about flashlights? You'd think they discovered the power of light when they're holding a AA powered beam. Shadow puppets. Flashlight tag. Spooky faces. All while there's a toddler sleeping in the next tent over.

Flashlights were confiscated. Prayers were said. Threats were issued. Silence reigned.

I went to get myself ready for bed, as I came back to the tents, Grant popped out of the boy's tent, holding his face with one hand and his glasses with the other. Blood was dripping everywhere.

Son of a... "What happened?"

"I don't know. All of a sudden my nose was bleeding and my glasses were somehow broken."

Right. Bleeding stopped. Glasses mangled beyond (my) repair. Boys back in bed. More threats. More silence.

I crawled into my side of my tent and laid down to read my scriptures. I was beyond exhausted. Maggie was still quiet and the boys were settled down. I was just about to drift off when I heard "scratch... scratch..."

Silence. Then more "scratch... scratch..."

Crap. It's the bear that our over- informative campground host had told us about. It was probably lured in by the copious amounts of blood that had just come out of my son's nose.

More scratching. Then I saw it. A large black shape passing by my tent.

Do I scream bear and wake up everyone? Do I yell for help? What the heck am I supposed to do??!!

The scratching stopped. I didn't see another blob. I started to think it was just my imagination and then it started again.

"Scratch.  Scratch."

I grabbed my flashlight, zipped open my tent and leaped out. Shining my flashlight all around. I didn't see anything. Of course I didn't have my contacts in... but I didn't see any suspicious blobs. I settled back into my air hammock (that's an air mattress that's lost most of it's air, they're uber fancy and only available to exhausted parents that just can't handle the thought of actually turning the pump on).

It was quiet again and I really started to think I could sleep. Should have known better. Just a few minutes later the scratching started again. This time it was to my right and all the kids were to my left so I knew it wasn't one of them. I turned my flashlight on and looked all around my tent.

That's when I saw it. Close to where my head had been. A bug longer than my first finger. Seriously, no exaggeration. It was huge. I didn't scream (kudos to me). I didn't want to smash it because I didn't know if a gallon of venom would come out. I grabbed a nearby diaper (clean, don't worry), scooped up the creature from the deep, unzipped the tent door and threw out the diaper and bug, all in one!

It only took about an hour for my heart to stop racing. And no, I still don't know what the black shape was, it probably was a bear but it was scared off by the sound machine. Man, those things are loud.

The End

by Kristen

I did it. 30 days. Lots of good food.

It wasn't even that hard. Like I didn't feel like I was going to die because I wasn't eating pancakes (oh my word, I love pancakes).

I did slip up and eat some cookies on Day 26 or 27, I don't remember exactly which one. I do remember how bad I felt the next day. My stomach hurt. I felt like I was moving in slow motion. It was awful. One of the rules of Whole30 is that if you slip up, you should start over. The whole point of the Whole30 is to get all of those things that irritate your body, well, out of your body. That way you can really tell how your body reacts to certain things. I didn't start over but technically I should have. Oh well.

So what did I think?

I loved it! Absolutely loved the whole thing. My stomach stopped hurting after every meal. I didn't wake up feeling sluggish. I had more energy (not as much as I was hoping, but still...). I felt more focused. My clothes were looser. I weighed and measured myself at the end and I'd lost several inches and 7 pounds.

There's a reintroduction period that you're supposed to follow that I didn't. Like at all. In my defense there was a holiday (July 24th is a big deal in Utah), a birthday and a family reunion. My father in law put it best, he said "it's like we've all got IV's hooked up to the pantry and the valve is wide open". Yep. Agreed.

Sadly the IV theory didn't work out so great for me. That stomach pain that I had gotten rid of came back with a vengeance. I had heartburn. I was tired. Apparently there is a reason they recommend slowly easing yourself back into your old foods as you discover what works for you. Binging on cookies and birthday cake maybe isn't the way to go.

Will I do it again, this time following ALL the rules? For sure.

I didn't get the boost in energy I was hoping for but that could be partially due to 5 kids and my alarm clock. But I still felt better. I'll take that.

I've been given an incredible body that does amazing things everyday. I don't always love the way that it looks or the way that I feel but I'm trying to be kinder to myself. Right now that means cooling it on the dessert and feeding myself food that makes me happy. I'm going to try and take really good care of my body because it has to last me at least 70 more years! I'm totally planning on being a centenarian.