Regrets

I was driving down the road the other day thinking about houses and debt and time. I did some quick math in my head* and figured that if we had just paid a few hundred dollars extra on our mortgage payment every month, we would have a paid for house.

Crazy.

We've been here in this perfectly perfect house for 10 years. Those few extra dollars would have made such a huge difference. To be 32 and 37 with 5 little kids and a paid for house... that's almost unbelievable.

We had that money every month but instead of being able to save it or put it toward the house we were spending it on who knows what.

Actually I do know, we were blowing it on stupid stuff or making Visa payments or sending it to the student loan companies. To think about it that way just makes me sick.

If we had been focused we could be out of debt.

If we had been smart we could have payed cash for Greg's education.

If we were determined we would have college funds for all our children.

But we weren't focused or smart or determined, instead we were just living what felt like a normal life. We didn't know there were other options. And that sucks. Sometimes I feel so frustrated and disgusted with the choices we made, it just makes me want to scream!

But then I take a deep breath and I vow to not have the same regrets in 10 more years. We're not perfect now and we haven't learned everything but we know a whole lot more than we used to.

I'm done with regrets, what's done is done and the only thing I can do is move on. We're working on getting out of debt and once we're out we're never coming back. Being obligated to some finance company somewhere isn't how I want to live my life. I'm over that!

*I ran the numbers when I got home and I was right; $400 a month would have given us the deed to our house.