Greg here, I thought it would be interesting to get into the mind of Kristen a little bit and see what we can find out about her experiences and why we are doing what we are doing. I had a conversation with Kristen a while ago and here are a couple of questions from that conversation and her answers. I feel it is important to sit down with our spouse and talk and this gave us a chance to do it. This is not all of the conversation not by a long shot but I feel that these two questions are important and lets you know what we are up to and some of the challenges that we have.
What has been the most challenging for you over the past couple of years?
Probably not buying all the clothes I want.
Or maybe it's the tight grocery budget.
But then there's all the shoes I haven't bought and the projects around the house that we've put on hold.
Then there's the fact that you are gone all the time working, that's hard.
Telling the kids "no, not right now", that's been rough.
All those things have been frustrating but I think the hardest part has been being patient. It takes time to clean up a serious mess. I get a huge rush when we make a payment but then we have to wait 2 weeks or so to make another one. We're doing everything that we can to make progress but during that waiting time I start to feel like we're not making progress. Patiently waiting while we are doing all that we can is difficult. I think that is the hardest part of all!
You mentioned patience has been a challenge. What do you do to help keep you motivated even though you don't feel like you're moving forward? And a follow up question; what tips do you have for those feeling the same way?
Well the sarcastic answer is that I don't really have a choice, now do I?
Although I guess that's not completely true. We're down to our last 2 student loans and while they're big, if we just made the minimum payments it would free up a lot of room in our budget. Those loans would get paid off eventually and right now we'd be able to buy all those things we, okay I, feel like I'm missing out on.
But that's not an option, is it? We want to be done with this part of our lives so that we can move on to the next stage. Like a bigger home. And college for the kids. And travel. And a car for Greg that was made in this century. We can't do any of those things with this debt hanging over our heads.
We still have a long way to go and it can get discouraging. Here are a few things that have really helped Greg and I stay focused.
First we make sure and look back at all the progress we've made. We have a thermometer on our back door that we color in to show the amount of money that we have paid off and how much further we have to go. I hadn't filled it in for a couple of months so one night I sat down and ran the numbers. I was blown away! I couldn't believe how much we really were paying off. The payments don't always feel that big and it happens over such an extended period of time so it doesn't feel like much, but seeing the progress we are making really gave us that boost of motivation that sometimes disappears.
Another helpful thing is having that "Why", that reason why we're sacrificing. From the outside looking in we look like crazy people; we don't go out to eat (ever), we rarely buy new clothes (it's ALWAYS consignment stores for us) and we say no to almost every extra (I'm talking to you Target Dollar Spot). Why are we willing to live like this?
It's because we have 5 wonderful children. They are our why. Everything that we do is to help them and bless their lives. Giving them parents that aren't worried about money and that have a plan is the greatest gift of all. Money problems are the number one cause of divorce in North America, that terrifies Greg and I so if there is something that we can do to put our marriage on a solid foundation, we're all for it.
Even if it means no Cheesecake Factory.
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There are a lot of things that can make us lose our focus on our goals. I agree with Kristen that we need to remember the Why of everything that we do.
Why do we want to get out of debt? so we can dictate where we want our money to go and not lenders.
Why do we want to save for retirement? Because we want to retire with dignity and to do meaningful things with ourselves.
And the most important Why so we can leave a legacy to our children and give them the tools needed to be great stewards of the money God has given them.