When you're running a race it's hard. Like really hard. And you're doing a lot of running. When I have trained for marathons I will have weeks where I do around 40 miles. That is some serious time on the legs and if I'm not careful it can feel like absolute drudgery. So I play mind games, I make up stories, I people watch, I listen to my music and I talk to my running partner. Anything to love the miles.
Getting out of debt is just like those long races. You're super excited and ready to go at the beginning but then you look up and realize just how much further you have to go. It's always fun to crunch the numbers and see exactly what you can pay towards your debt and how long it will take you to be free but month after month after month it can just get overwhelming.
Let me tell you a little part of our story. I am married to a good man, together Greg and I have 5 kids. Our oldest is 10, the twins are 8 (twins, holy cow!), our youngest son is 5 and our youngest daughter is 21 months old. Almost 2 years ago Greg called me from work and he said “um, they just told me that I need to find a new job” I asked a million questions but they were all some variation of “what....” and I cried. I couldn’t believe it. Didn’t they know we were expecting a baby and that we weren’t even making ends meet? Greg was working 2 jobs and there was good money coming into our checking account but it all went out right away. There was no way that we were going to survive being unemployed. We didn’t have any savings and there just didn’t seem to be any hope.
As Greg explained things to me I began to feel peace, something that I couldn’t have imagined. He said that they were giving him until the end of the year (this was in the summer) to find a new position, they would continue to pay him and provide benefits. So the baby would be covered. They would also allow him to look for a new position and interview on company time. Plus they were willing to offer good recommendations. This really was a once in a lifetime kind of situation. Greg had been thinking about making a career switch. At that time he was almost done with his Masters Degree so he knew that eventually he would be leaving the company. This was the push that he needed.
That weekend we sat down and we went over our finances. This was really hard because for so many years I had been the accountant by default. He made the money and then I decided where it all went. The problem with this was that there was no accountability. I spent money however I wanted and then when bills weren’t paid I just hid them until the next check would come in. I was constantly playing catch up. Things were late and behind and I didn’t want to tell Greg. He was so busy with 2 jobs and school and a crazy pregnant wife that he didn’t need to worry about finances. In fact, I thought that I was being a good wife by not “bothering” him. The problem is that I wasn’t doing a good job but it’s not because I’m not smart, I just didn’t have a plan and I didn’t like the restriction that I felt a budget would bring. We had tried to budget before but it just wasn’t realistic. It was really strict and was not livable. Anyhow we sat down and laid everything out. I was terrified. I have to give Greg some serious credit because never once did he blame me for the state of things. As we evaluated our finances we realized just how deeply we were in debt and how much we needed to change so that we could survive unemployment. We started to make a plan and try to find a way to get control of our money. Eventually we were able to get current on everything and began putting away as much money as possible. We had a very clear goal with a timeline attached. We knew that on December 30 we were no longer employed. The hope of course was that Greg would find full- time employment before then but we were not counting on that. During that time from summer to winter we were able to put away enough money that, if we were very careful and didn’t spend anything frivolously, we would be able to make our house payment and stay current on all of our bills from January to May. After May we didn’t know what would happen but having that savings that we had never had before made all the difference.
I want to make it clear to you that during this time we relied completely on the Savior. We developed a relationship with God and His Son that we had never known before. Greg and I knew that all we had was each other and our belief in Heavenly Father. We knew that turning against each other and blaming each other or God,was not going to help, so we chose not to. Instead we did all that we could to remain grateful, provide for ourselves and to fix our situation and then we turned it over to God. He made all of the miracles happen and let me tell you, there were some pretty incredible tender mercies.
Greg eventually found a full time job in April of last year. Just one month before our savings would have run out. We learned a lot during that challenge and we grew so much but tonight I want to talk about one thing that really made the difference, it was the key to our success.
We learned a lot about finances especially how essential it is to budget. But the most essential thing we did while we were unemployed and scared and trying to take care of 5 babies, was we always paid our tithing. We knew that God would bless us so we were determined to do our part. Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “To those who faithfully and honestly live the law of tithing, the Lord promises an abundance of blessings. Some of these blessings are temporal, just as tithes are temporal. But like the outward physical ordinances of baptism and the sacrament, the commandment to pay tithing requires temporal sacrifice, which ultimately yields great spiritual blessings. …The temporal and spiritual blessings of tithing are specifically tailored to us and our families, according to the Lord’s will. But to receive them, we must obey the law upon which they are predicated [see D&C 130:20–21]” (in Conference Report, Oct. 2002, 28; or Ensign, Nov. 2002, 27).
I want to make it clear to you that during this time we relied completely on the Savior. We developed a relationship with God and His Son that we had never known before. Greg and I knew that all we had was each other and our belief in Heavenly Father. We knew that turning against each other and blaming each other or God,was not going to help, so we chose not to. Instead we did all that we could to remain grateful, provide for ourselves and to fix our situation and then we turned it over to God. He made all of the miracles happen and let me tell you, there were some pretty incredible tender mercies.
We learned a lot about finances especially how essential it is to budget. But the most essential thing we did while we were unemployed and scared and trying to take care of 5 babies, was we always paid our tithing. We knew that God would bless us so we were determined to do our part. Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “To those who faithfully and honestly live the law of tithing, the Lord promises an abundance of blessings. Some of these blessings are temporal, just as tithes are temporal. But like the outward physical ordinances of baptism and the sacrament, the commandment to pay tithing requires temporal sacrifice, which ultimately yields great spiritual blessings. …The temporal and spiritual blessings of tithing are specifically tailored to us and our families, according to the Lord’s will. But to receive them, we must obey the law upon which they are predicated [see D&C 130:20–21]” (in Conference Report, Oct. 2002, 28; or Ensign, Nov. 2002, 27).
So this is our story of how we are getting out of debt. We're in the middle right now and it sometimes feels a little bit awful. It's hard and there are a lot of sacrifices. Sometimes we wonder if we're even going to make it at all.
I guess I just want to share so that you and I know that we're not alone in this. Maybe you've paid it all off or maybe you're lucky enough to be starting fresh. Or maybe you're like Greg and I and you have a long race ahead. Wherever you are on this race, we're glad you're here and lets Love The Miles.
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