Debt Free Friday: Tim and Katie

I think it is inspiring when young people have their finances in order. What is really impressive is they realized they were in trouble and even though they weren't making a lot of money they were able to set a goal and complete it. I like how they pulled together, got on a written plan and helped each other to stay motivated. I also liked how they thought of it as a great project to work together on. 

Kristen loves projects. I mean really loves projects. I think if she didn't have a project to work on she would be depressed. Working on this debt free project has really been fulfilling and we have drawn so much closer together as a couple because of it. 

One more thought; they are in their twenties and have no debt. Just think of what you could do with the extra money if you didn't have any debt!! Just think what they can give to people who need it. I can't wait to be in a position to give like that, it will be awesome!

Here is a bit more about their story. Definitely worth the watch. 

Creating Problems

Our internet was down for almost 24 hours. I walked around sort of lost and not sure what to do.

I couldn't post here (I like writing these posts).

I couldn't check my bank account (that makes me nervous).

I couldn't check social media (probably a good thing).

I couldn't work on a project I've been creating (that was the worst of all).

I felt like everything I wanted to do was in some way connected to the www.

Thank goodness school is out for the semester or I'd be in serious trouble.

That's ridiculous of course. I have a mile long list of things I've been wanting to do.

And there's always the house and yard work that I try to ignore.

There's an old rhyme that goes:

Don't you worry little luxury.
Don't you cry.
You'll be a necessity by and by.

Cell phones. The internet. Multiple computers and devices.

All of these things and more were a symbol of wealth and status just a few years ago. Now they're considered essential. I'd be hard pressed to function without them.

I'm not sure what that says about me or about our society. There's probably a deeper meaning hiding in there somewhere but I'm not going to dig it out. At least not today.

Right now I'm going to ask myself if I'm a bit too dependent on some things.

Perhaps it's time to cut the cord, or at least set some limits.

Ownership

My friend just got a new car. When they first picked it up, they posted the photos on social media with the caption that said something to the effect of: "This Baby is Mine!!". I am very excited for them and happy that they are happy. I would love to get a new vehicle as well.

Jeep Renegade

But somewhere along the way I have changed my thinking about ownership because of our goal to get out of debt. I started thinking about the phrase, "this baby is mine". There are two possibilities. The first is they have paid cash for the vehicle so they are free and clear of any payments so yes, it belongs to them, it's theirs and YAY! for them. The other option is that they have taken out a loan to finance the vehicle. So doesn't that mean the bank owns their vehicle? 

Am I off on that thought? 

I started to think about things that I have. Do I own them or does the bank own them? When we take out a loan for vehicles, houses, motorcycles, mattresses, etc. the bank holds the title until we pay it off. I'm thinking that the bank holds the title and the majority share until we've paid it off so they own it...

Candelight Homes SnowMass plan

When I think about things in that sense it makes me agitated and want to own the things that I have. I want them paid off so no one else owns them but me. For example I really like our house. We are comfortable in it and we have a great time living in it. We have so many memories that we have from living here. But I can't say it is mine, THE BANK OWNS more of it than I do and that bugs me.

So we will be plugging away on our debts and then tackle the house after that. One of the goals that we have, is that in the very near future we can say the house is officially ours.

If you agree or disagree we would like to hear about it. please respond in the comments below. We appreciate your input and you. Thank you!!

PS- the pictures above are just examples of stuff, not things that we have in our possession.

True story, gross but still true!

Every time I see a donut hole I think of this story that's grown into family legend and it makes me cringe. Like full body shudder cringe.

Are you ready for the story?

Okay, okay, I'll tell you.  Get ready to be impressed.  Let me share a few disclaimers first.  One, if you have an aversion to bodily functions click that little X at the top right corner.  Second, if you've never praised all that is good and holy for the invention of Clorox wipes you might not find this funny.

Is anyone still there?  Hello....

I woke up early one Saturday morning (I won't tell you how early, you'll cry) determined to be productive and responsible before ditching the kids and the husband to "run" with my neighbor.  We call it "running" but really we head to our neighborhood gas station and troll for chocolate milk but I digress.  Early Saturday morning I headed down to our cave of a basement to make the laundry switch.  I started pulling the clothes out of our antique dryer when I noticed brown marks all over our clean clothes.  "Weird", I said to myself.  "Oh well" and I kept pulling things out, the next thing I found was a chocolate doughnut hole.  In my dryer.  "That's interesting, I wonder who had doughnuts and where's mine?".  I finished emptying the dryer and found brown pin-striping decorating the walls of my dryer.  "Wait a second... WHAT????!!!!!  That's no DOUGHNUT HOLE, that's, that's (she stutters) that's ______!!!!!"

Yep, there was a log o' crap in my dryer.  Somehow it made it through the entire wash cycle and a good 90 minutes in the dryer.  Even better, I held it in my hand.

Awesome.

Different Hats

Disclaimer: I'm constantly learning how to live life. I don't ever claim to have all the answers! This is what's worked for me, you are probably different. And that's OK!!

I often get asked how I fit college into my life. People wonder how I take care of my family and work and go to school and still take naps. I answer with the flippant answer "that's a good question, I don't know!"

But even though it's hard for me to give serious answers, I do have a few tricks of the school/ family trade.

1. PLAN. Everything. Don't leave anything to chance. I have a planner from iheart organizing that I live by. It has our menu, everything I need to do and what I am expecting to get done during the week. It's even possible that I schedule naps for myself but I'll never tell. I plan out the next week on Sunday nights so that I know exactly what's on tap. I also use my trusty sticky notes to write down everything that is due in the coming week, I number each assignment in order of priority. That goes on my desk and as I complete an assignment I cross it off. That gives me an idea of where I need to be at each day of the week, that way I don't have the weekend rush trying to get everything done.
2. ELIMINATE. During the school year I don't (usually) do projects besides those related to school. I love home fix up and sewing and all those other time consuming projects but they aren't a priority during the school year. I also don't let myself read much of anything besides textbooks and my scriptures. I'm too easily distracted so if I don't even start than I'm better off. 
3. DELEGATE. The kids take care of most of the housework. I don't empty the dishwasher or dust. I don't take the garbage out and I certainly don't clean the kid's rooms. Yes that does mean that jobs don't always get done the way that I would like but I'm teaching my kids to be productive members of this family. That means that they take ownership for their zones and I don't follow behind touching up. I do know that there are some messes that I can't deal with so I do the vacuuming, sweeping, mopping and cleaning the bathrooms. I have a super quick routine that takes maybe 20 minutes 2 or 3 times a week. I won't win awards for the cleanest house but that's not really my goal.
4. ASK FOR HELP. On Saturday mornings my better half takes the kids and they go do something (anything really, just as long as it's not at the house) while I catch up on homework or take a nap. That's a chance for me to recharge and get ready for the next week. I look forward to that time alone. 
5. SAY NO. It kills me to say no but I can't do it all. I try to focus on the things that only I can do. I am a wife and a mother first, student second. Everything else can and will be done by someone else. And if you have known me for any length of time you'll know how hard that is for me to say!
6. DIVINE INTERVENTION. I can't do any of what I do without help from God. I constantly pray to do what needs to be done. He always amazes me with His perfect answers.

And of course there are days when everything falls apart and it's all I can do to make it to bedtime. That's when I try to remember that this is the busy season of my life and I'm okay with that. Occasionally I feel like I'm running around with no purpose but when I look back at what I'm doing I'm sort of blown away. I don't say that to brag but because I think that we're all like that. We are all doing amazing things and we don't even realize the greatness. 

Taking Sides

Fun fact: during the recent election for Prime Minister over across the pond, British citizens complained about how long the campaigns went on. Do you know how long that was? How long were the candidates battling for votes? What made the Brits crazy? Oh, about 12 weeks of political campaigning. No, you didn't read that wrong, 12 weeks. For a major campaign. Does that blow your mind?

Here in the US, word on the street is that there is a presidential campaign happening in 2016. That's not this November, it's the one after. Possible candidates and issues and big time money are already being thrown around. People are beginning to predict who will be our next president and what problems they will have to overcome. This is for an election that won't take place for more than a year.

That makes me crazy but here's what I hate more than endless campaigns; the idea that somehow politicians don't have to follow the same rules as the people they represent. Somehow they think that they are above the law.

You and I have to balance our budgets. We're not allowed to rack up debt and then not pay it for years and years. We have an amount that we have to work with each month and if there's not enough then we have to make cuts or pay some pretty serious consequences.

You and I have to make tough choices. Sometimes there are things that we would like to do for our children but IT'S NOT IN THE BUDGET so we have to say no. It doesn't matter how much they complain and cry, if there's no money it doesn't happen.

You and I live by basic standards of goodness and morality. Why don't the people that represent us follow those same rules? Why do they get to cheat and lie and steal and benefit from people that have worked hard? If you or I tried to do that we'd get thrown in serious trouble.

You and I have to get along with our neighbors even if we don't like them* or don't agree with their ideas. If we were to label someone based on their beliefs or their appearance then we'd be labeled prejudiced (with good reason) but if you're in politics you can do that and call it division of the parties. If our kids are fighting they get privileges taken away, sadly I don't think there is a timeout chair in Congress...

Of course I don't think that all politicians are bad, there are some very good men and women that are in politics but sadly they seem to be the minority.

I don't know how to fix all of the problems that face our good and great nation but I would think that if those that were running this country were held to the same standards we demand for ourselves and our children, wouldn't we all be better off?

Political parties and divisions don't matter, what is important is morality, decency and basic fiscal sense. We need to expect that the people that represent us actually do represent our values and our expectations. That's not too much to ask, right?

*I actually adore all of my neighbors, we seriously hit the jackpot when we moved here!

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

Okay, yes. The title is a take on the game show from years ago but seriously, have you ever wondered what it takes to become a millionaire, or at least retire a millionaire? A few weeks ago on the Dave Ramsey show there was an entire segment dedicated to exploring the secrets of America's millionaires.

I have always wanted to talk to someone who has "made it". I have wanted to find out what they have done to be successful with money. Dan talked to Dave and explained how he and his wife were able to be successful. He wasn't any different from the other millionaires that were on the show. Here's what I think:

• Dan didn’t average over 100k, most of the time he had a normal income
• He was debt free
• They put money away consistently
• He didn’t inherit money or win the lottery
• They didn’t buy new vehicles
• They lived below their income
• Bought things with cash
• Didn't have student loans

Those that are successful follow the principles found in "The Millionaire Next Door".  They followed solid financial principles that worked for our grandparents and they were consistent. These men and women are also living pretty ordinary lives. You wouldn't pass them on the street and be able to guess their net worth. And you know, that kinda makes me wonder, how many of my friends and neighbors are secretly wealthy? Not because I think that's information we need to share (so don't tell us) but I just wonder if there are more people that are able to live comfortably and give outrageously than we know. That's something to think about.

It takes serious work and dedication to retire with over a million dollar net worth but it's possible. And you don't have to be lucky or somehow special to do it, you just have to focus. Oh and get out of debt, we're still working on that part but we'll get there. I think we can all do it.

My First Job: aka The Worst Summer Of My Life

Way back in the olden days, okay so it wasn't that long ago but my kids, well you know how kids are, anything past 6 months ago is ancient history. Okay anyways, back when I was a teenager, I think I was 13, my mom insisted that I get a job. She didn't care that people typically didn't hire 13 year olds to do anything productive. I kept trying to tell her that it was illegal for children to work and that there were even laws about it. It was called child labor.

Obviously she was smarter than that and she kept telling me to find something. Or else.

I don't remember what "or else" was but I know I was scared. So I took to the streets (not like that, get out of the gutter, people) of my small town and went looking for work. I finally found a "job" at an animal shelter. Can I just interject here that I've never really been a fan of animals? They're nice in theory and I loved our dog and I'd be okay with another dog but most of the time they didn't/ don't do much for me.

Anyhow, I worked at the animal shelter a few days a week cleaning kennels. Here's a fun fact about dogs; they don't use the toilet. They're pretty happy with the concrete. There were also quite a few dogs that were in the shelter for the good of the community. Meaning that they weren't the play fetch kind of animals.

So there I was scooping poop, trying not to get attacked all for the rich sum of...

Wait for it...

Nothing! Yep, I did all of that for free. All summer long. And I had to walk to work, it was totally uphill both ways. For reals, we lived in the hilliest town known to man. To make matters worse, I had to walk by the house of this boy that I had the biggest crush on. I was certain that one day he was going to rush out of his house, declare his undying love (like all 13 year old boys do) and then take a whiff of my workplace stench and change his mind.

It was a nightmare.

Toward the end of summer my boss took me out to lunch as a way to say thank you. She asked if I had been arrested and was having to do community service. I think I might've started to cry.

I smelled bad. I was poor and now she thought I was a criminal.

Let's just say that every job I've had since then has been a million times better.

So thank you Mom, thanks for putting the fear of God into my scrawny little body and making me go to work. Now that I'm a parent I understand why you did it. Does that mean I'll do that to my kids? Make them work at crappy (get it...) jobs to learn a lesson?

Well, probably. I mean, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

I'm also not really phased by dirty diapers, animal shelter for the win!

Book Review (sort of): The Hunger Games

Way back, like 10 years ago (or something like that) when the first book in the Hunger Games trilogy came out I read it. I think I read the next 2 also but it really disturbed me. I had a hard time wrapping my brain around children killing children just for the sake of sport. And yes, I understand that there is more to it than that. There is also overcoming oppression and fighting for good even when the outlook is bleak, I get that part. There was just too much violence for my taste, it made me really uncomfortable.

Fast forward to now and my oldest daughter is reading the series. She is 10 and though I am certainly biased, I believe that she is a mature and intelligent young lady who can deal with tough subjects. She spent most of the weekend involved in the first book and then she moved on to the second. She asked a few clarifying questions and we talked, explaining a few things.

She has moved on to the second book and is about halfway through. Last night after I put the kids to bed I was looking for a way to ignore the things I was supposed to be doing (laundry, I'm looking at you) so I picked up Catching Fire. I started to read and I was horrified all over again.

It is violent. I don't think this is something that a 5th grader should be reading, in fact I don't even think it's something that I want to finish reading. I understand good story telling and I have to give Suzanne Collins credit for being a master of the craft. But I still don't think this is a good thing. 

So what do I do? I realize that I am the parent and I do have ultimate say on what happens in my home, that's a given. But what do I do in this situation? Do I stop her from reading the book? Do we set an age limit? Do we read it together? Guys, I'm torn. Help a mom out here and tell me what you would do.

Hmmm...

I am not always the best husband and father in the world. Sometimes the kids make me crazy so I yell and get frustrated. Sometimes I make Kristen crazy when I say things or don't do something. I want to be a better husband and father but life happens sometimes. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone either, I think we've all felt like we're doing the best we can and it's just not good enough.

Why does this happen, especially to generally good people who are trying hard to be the best they can? I think it's a lot of things. I know sometimes when I am hungry I am a little uptight and can be more snarky. I might be thinking about something and Kristen or the kids ask a question and I answer without paying attention. It could be what type of mood I'm in right that second. Or it could be Christmas day and the kids are running around and jumping on things from the massive sugar intake. Dealing with the sugar/ activity crash requires serious patience. Those are a few of the things that affect my well being, I know for sure there are a lot of things that affect my state of mind.

But here's what I do know: no matter how deep a hole we are in because of something said or not done, no matter how insane the kids are, basically no matter what, there's hope. I feel that as long as I am trying to do my best and striving to serve those around me, things seem to work out. That is of course as long as we don't stop trying.

We do have to recognize when we did something wrong. We do have to make an effort to correct the problem. If we do those things along with caring about the people around us and trying to serve them. That's when I think we overcome our challenges. That's when we win at life and at our marriages and our families.

It is the same with our finances. Sometimes we get distracted and forget to budget. Other times we feel like we deserve something so we purchase it. I am hungry so I can’t wait five minutes until I get home to make a sandwich. Things happen and life happens. Sometimes it can turn into a big hairy mess (our story) but it's never beyond hope, I have a sure knowledge of that.

If we at least start and if we try to make a budget and pay things off it works out. When we do the best we can with the money God gives us it is certain to work out. Kristen and I have made such tremendous strides this past year and a half. We have paid off so many debts. All because we decided to not let our past mistakes define our future. I know it works. I know it will work for you. Let me throw in a rodeo analogy here; take that leap of faith, grab your financial steer by the horns and wrestle it to the ground!

Cross this off your to- do list, immediately!

Someone, somewhere came up with this great idea to teach Cub Scouts basic carpentry and friendly competition. They innocently thought that the boys would make their own cars and that they would be good sports about the race. These great, wise people called it the Pinewood Derby (click for a description) and moms have been cursing their names ever since.

See the problem with the Pinewood Derby is the organizers forgot to factor in the fathers. They didn't realize that there were fathers that would take this competition to the extreme. No one could have seen the monsters lurking inside of every Pinewood Derby dad's hearts. Okay, so not every dad goes crazy. This is obviously a gross generalization but the point is that somewhere along the way dads (and some moms) forgot that this is supposed to be a Cub Scout led project. Parents are just supposed to offer guidance and instruction. This was supposed to be a time for parents to work on a project with their young boys, not a chance for dads to take over.

At our oldest boy's first Pinewood Derby there was a father who wouldn't even let his son touch the car. Obviously this was not a car that the boy had any part in creating. So sad. I've also heard of fathers that have yelled at their boys for losing, have thrown tantrums because someone else won and have generally acted like overtired toddlers.

And don't just think that this is isolated to the Derby, nope, I see it at school when the kids have large projects due. Some are certainly created by parents. I have seen leprechaun traps that are supposed to be made by kindergarteners but instead are Pinterest inspired and professionally assembled. Really? Is this how it's supposed to be? Do we really want to teach our children that their best efforts aren't good enough and that they need an adult to swoop in and take over? Do we want to teach them that following the rules is optional? On the instruction sheets that were handed out before the Pinewood Derby it was very clearly stated that this was to be a Cub Scout led project. So if dad (or some other adult) takes over than we show our kids that it's okay to ignore the rules.

Parents, let's stop this. Taking over our kid's projects creates more work for us, it hurts our children's self- esteem and it makes it frustrating for the kids that do follow the rules. Give yourself a break and let your kids do their own work, they'll probably make a mess and they certainly make mistakes but isn't that what childhood is all about? They'll be okay, I promise.

Happy Friday!! ~Clay's Debt Free Journey

I heard this inspiring story the other day from a man named Clay. No matter how down you are in this life you can get out of it and get back on your feet. This amazing man made restitution to those that he had stolen from. I feel that if we try to forgive others and ourselves, we are well on our way to a great life. I could feel the emotional release when he screamed, it was like we were all there cheering him on. 

I hope we remember that when we get discouraged in whatever we are facing that we fill our minds with positive things. One thing he did to help him was to think of his kids. That inspired him to do the right thing and turn his life around. If we remember the good things in life it is harder to drag us down. Focus on the good and try to repay the bad.

At the end of the day the grace of God is what makes the difference. Clay is an inspiration and an example of what it means for a man's heart to be changed. Pretty amazing.

Here's another video that gives us a better look at Clay's story and some of the things that he did to completely and totally turn his life around. This is one of the good ones.

5 Words

The kids hear them all the time.

I start to say it and they can finish my sentence.

It's pretty much my go to answer for oh, everything.

It's. Not. In. The. Budget.

In fact, I don't even have to say "it's not in the budget" anymore, I just say "5 words" and they get it.

Here's the crazy thing, there's really not that much whining or complaining. No, they're not robot kids but they understand that you have to plan for things. Life doesn't get to just happen while you run around reacting.

Greg and I evaluate and adjust our budget every couple of weeks. When we have those budget planning meetings we look at the calendar and plan for things that are coming. We plan for activities, we plan for family outings, plus all of the regular things that come up like fees and doctor's visits. Everything is planned for and as near as possible we plan for life, well, happening. Sometimes things will come up and we will make adjustments (always talking to each other first) but usually when the kids are asking for something it's along the lines of Dunford Donuts (try some, you will die) or a museum trip. Those are things that can be planned for but unless it's in the budget it ain't happening!

We're under a big ol' pile of debt and we're doing everything that we can to dig our way out. We've cut back. We're working crazy hours. We're praying constantly for a way out of this mess. We also budget very carefully and once we have budgeted we live by that plan. It's our guide for a way out of this disaster!

So when kids (and adults) start asking for stuff around here the answer is simple.

5 words.

*And yes, the picture that accompanies this post is misleading, it's not about donuts but really can you go wrong with a Chocolate Chocolate Donut? Nope, didn't think so!

God loveth a cheerful giver!

Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. (2 Corinthians 9:7)

I read this scripture and it really struck me. God loves those who give of their time, goods and talents and He REALLY loves those that give cheerfully. One way that we can see this is from all of the blessings and tender mercies that we receive each day. I'm not saying that the only way to get blessings is to give, but it certainly can't hurt to follow His commandments. It says in the Bible that we're supposed to be cheerful when we give, that carries some weight with me.

What does giving do for you? It's a valid question.

Here is what I think it does. Something is changed in you when you give to others. I know I feel it every time I give. I also can see it on others. I think that it makes you more attractive, and I don’t mean physically attractive, although cheerful people usually smile more and that's beautiful. 

Let's talk hypothetical. Say you have the opportunity to buy sandwiches at two sandwich shops. Subs R Us has a jerk working the counter. She makes you feel that you're inconveniencing her just to be in her store. She's angry and she resents your purchase. Over at Subs 4 U the sandwich master is an absolute angel and remembers your name every time you walk in there. He remembers your order from the last time you were there. So tell me, who are you going to buy sandwiches from? The sandwiches are the same. But you might even pay more for them from the guy who remembers your name and your order and smiles. As a matter of fact, on average, you will.

Over time, because of your giving you’re going to end up having the potential to make more money than you would any other way. It's this weird thing that the more you focus on helping people and giving them what they need, you are more successful. You will usually find that as you start making more money, you'll find it’s easier and easier to give, and as you give, you’re going to make more and more money because you’re going to be more and more generous. 

One thing that I have found about generous people they aren't uptight and freaked out and worried about everything. The weird thing is that it actually changes the chemicals in your body. When you’re generous, it releases endorphins, proteins and DHEA. You are happier, and you’re more fulfilled and have a sense of winning you haven’t had before. The contrary is when you’re all stressed out and selfish, cortisol is released, which is the self-produced stress drug. It causes anxiety. There’s a chemistry difference. Isn't that weird? It’s not really that mystical that generous people do better. It’s kind of common sensical.

The point is giving changes you, and that’s really why God teaches people of faith to give. It’s not because he needs your money. He’s God, He doesn’t need money. It’s His. Giving causes success and God loves a cheerful giver!

Citations:
http://health.clevelandclinic.org/2014/12/why-giving-is-good-for-your-health/

Body Shaming, Ballet and Bicep Curls

Here's one of the great paradoxes of life: I want my children to grow up with healthy body images but I also want to lose the last of my extra (can't call it baby because it was there long before) weight. Can I still work on creating a healthy body but still teach that people are beautiful no matter their shape and size?

I have friends that suffer from poor self esteem and have an awful perception of their bodies because they grew up in homes that were obsessed with image and body size.

I'm doing all I can to NOT have that in our home!

But I am also dedicated to exercise and am always trying to develop healthier habits. 

Does that make me obsessed? Does that give my kids an unrealistic view of what health is? Do they think that they won't be good enough unless they do those things?

So far I've lost about 25 pounds and I sort of cringe a little when people say something. Not because I don't want people to notice, believe me, I love the compliments! I just worry when my children hear people say things like "you look so great", I wonder if they think that I didn't look good before and that maybe the only way to look good is to be thin. I wonder.

Am I worrying about something that isn't even worth worrying about? I am really careful to never talk about dieting, I only talk about healthy eating and how food makes my body feel. I talk about how strong I feel from lifting weights and how good it feels to run. We never shame our bodies or anyone else's! We also don't use descriptors like fat, thin, big, small, etc. So I feel like we're on the right track. 

I guess I just worry. Two of my girls are in ballet and we all know that the dance world is littered with eating disorders. I hope that they are seeing healthy habits modeled and that they understand that their worth is not dependent on their waist size or by what they weigh. And no, I don't think men are immune to eating disorders and to challenges realted to body image. I am just as careful around them.

I love the body I've been blessed with. It's done some pretty amazing things and I'm in awe of the majesty of the human body. It is without a doubt evidence of a Divine Creator. I am also trying to make it into the best possible version of myself, a version that isn't influenced by a photo shopped image, rather one that feels the very best.

I just hope that in my effort to create my best self that I am not hurting my children. Does that make sense?

Book Review: Born to Win by Dr Kevin Leman

As the oldest of 5 I've always been the bossy, demanding one of the family. Just ask my siblings. I like to tell other people what to do (even when I don't know what I'm doing), I like to be the advice giver and I like to be the one in charge. I also recognize that those qualities aren't always helpful.

Dr. Kevin Leman is known for writing about and studying birth order. In his book Born to Win: how to keep your firstborn edge without losing your balance he says "although it's impossible to pigeonhole everyone into airtight compartments, at the same time it's true that most firstborns tend to display certain characteristics, as do most middleborns and lastborns"(Leman, p. 15).

The oldest child tends to be ambitious but always under great pressure. She/ he gets things done and knows where they are going because they've made a plan but they can also become boxed in and be a slave to the list.

Greg is the middle child and he's very calm and definitely a peacemaker. I'm sort of the opposite. Learning how to balance our different personalities is a constant balancing act. I'm trying to learn to stop and consult and counsel with my husband because it's in my personality to just go and do. I figure things out as I go along but he's not like that.

On almost every page of Born to Win I said things like "oh, I get it" or "that's why I'm like that". Absolutely fascinating.

If you're the oldest child or if you have an oldest or you're married to an oldest or if there's an oldest in the world that you kinda like (I think I covered everyone), get this book. Definitely worth the read.

*thanks to my local library for this copy.

Happy Friday! George and Nicole Debt Free Scream

Today's video is amazing! First off is the crazy amount they paid off in only 20 months. $1.2 million. That's a lot of zeros.

Second is, even though they were/ are bringing in a lot of money and are "well to do", they realized they were in trouble and didn't have a handle on their money. It was only when they worked together, budgeted, downsized and sacrificed that they were able to become debt free. 

I love how happy they are during this whole process. You can tell that they are really close as a couple and as a family. Budgeting together and working on a common goal of getting out of debt has changed their feelings toward one another and made them stronger. That is what I want for my family.