Scratch. Scratch.

I was rounding up the kids, trying to get them in their pajamas and settled in tents. Greg couldn't come to the Young Family Reunion (pesky work) so it was just me, my 5 kids and my nephew. Oh and a ton of aunts and uncles and cousins and grandmas and grandpas to help out so it wasn't like I was totally on my own but you know how bedtime is... you against the world.

Maggie was finally settled in her half of the tent with the sound machine cranked all the way, drowning out all those pesky sounds of nature. As I was walking back from my final herding mission I came across Anna holding a crying Nathan by the hand. She said "he peed his pants and now he's crying because his legs are hurting".

Great. "Thanks Anna". Hugs and kisses for her and then she was off to sleep with her cousins in their hotel deluxe (meaning a trailer, no canvas walls for them). I walked Nathan back to the Miles' tent compound, him screaming all the way. Once we got back I pulled his clothes off and started to wipe him off with baby wipes.

That's when the screaming really started, I was certain the sound machine wasn't going to drown out that much noise so thinking quick I wrapped his naked little body in a blanket and carried him to the nearby water spigot. I said "okay, this is what we're going to do; I'm going to put you down and unwrap you. I need you to rinse off your legs in the nice, cool water. Can you do that?"

"But someone might see me, I'm naked".

"Yes, I know you're naked but look how dark it is, I think you'll be okay". He tentatively stuck one leg in, then the other and then the fun started.

"Oh yeah! I'm sticking my bum in the water! (shake, shake, shake) I can turn around! Oh yeah! (shake, shake, shake) Look at me, I'm playing in water! (continue shaking)".

"Fun's over big guy. Let's go".

I wrapped him up again and took him back, got him dressed and in bed. Meanwhile Grant and my nephew were technically in their sleeping bags but were playing with flashlights. What is it about flashlights? You'd think they discovered the power of light when they're holding a AA powered beam. Shadow puppets. Flashlight tag. Spooky faces. All while there's a toddler sleeping in the next tent over.

Flashlights were confiscated. Prayers were said. Threats were issued. Silence reigned.

I went to get myself ready for bed, as I came back to the tents, Grant popped out of the boy's tent, holding his face with one hand and his glasses with the other. Blood was dripping everywhere.

Son of a... "What happened?"

"I don't know. All of a sudden my nose was bleeding and my glasses were somehow broken."

Right. Bleeding stopped. Glasses mangled beyond (my) repair. Boys back in bed. More threats. More silence.

I crawled into my side of my tent and laid down to read my scriptures. I was beyond exhausted. Maggie was still quiet and the boys were settled down. I was just about to drift off when I heard "scratch... scratch..."

Silence. Then more "scratch... scratch..."

Crap. It's the bear that our over- informative campground host had told us about. It was probably lured in by the copious amounts of blood that had just come out of my son's nose.

More scratching. Then I saw it. A large black shape passing by my tent.

Do I scream bear and wake up everyone? Do I yell for help? What the heck am I supposed to do??!!

The scratching stopped. I didn't see another blob. I started to think it was just my imagination and then it started again.

"Scratch.  Scratch."

I grabbed my flashlight, zipped open my tent and leaped out. Shining my flashlight all around. I didn't see anything. Of course I didn't have my contacts in... but I didn't see any suspicious blobs. I settled back into my air hammock (that's an air mattress that's lost most of it's air, they're uber fancy and only available to exhausted parents that just can't handle the thought of actually turning the pump on).

It was quiet again and I really started to think I could sleep. Should have known better. Just a few minutes later the scratching started again. This time it was to my right and all the kids were to my left so I knew it wasn't one of them. I turned my flashlight on and looked all around my tent.

That's when I saw it. Close to where my head had been. A bug longer than my first finger. Seriously, no exaggeration. It was huge. I didn't scream (kudos to me). I didn't want to smash it because I didn't know if a gallon of venom would come out. I grabbed a nearby diaper (clean, don't worry), scooped up the creature from the deep, unzipped the tent door and threw out the diaper and bug, all in one!

It only took about an hour for my heart to stop racing. And no, I still don't know what the black shape was, it probably was a bear but it was scared off by the sound machine. Man, those things are loud.