Stupid Cliches

I consider myself a pretty calm parent. Usually.

But today (or yesterday by the time you read this)... oh my word. Whining. Complaining. Crying. Everything I hate. And that's just from me, let's not even talk about the kids!

I don't know what it is, probably a combination of things.

The school semester is almost over so I'm pushing to get everything done.

I've had a cold for the last few days, you know the kind where you're not really sick you're more achy and miserable but still able to function? That kind.

The kids are getting restless for summer vacation. I'm trying not to dread summer vacation (I love my kids really, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared this year).

I've completely slacked off on some volunteer positions that I hold, so of course I feel guilty.

Depressing, all of that. Insert pity party here. The point is that I'm not operating at 100% and I think the kids are picking up on that. Actually I don't think, I know they are. You know that stupid saying about momma being happy? Ya, that one. Well as guardian of the hearth my family's happiness is affected by my own happiness.

I hate feeling frustrated and overwhelmed and just stretched. It's not who I want to be.

So what do I do? Suggestions? Thoughts? I'm pretty sure running away isn't an option and neither is outsourcing the care and feeding of my offspring. How do you manage times like this?

And yes, I know it's annoying to end a post with a question but I'm serious, how do you keep your sanity and find the fun in everyday life? Because today I'm totally not feeling it.

Stop Wasting Food!

In last week's Wednesday edition of the Wall Street Journal there was a fascinating article about wasting food. They said that the average family throws away more than $1000 a year in wasted food! WHAT?!?!?!?!

And Americans as a whole, we're wasting around 36 million tons of food. Yes I did say millions and tons was not a typo. Do those numbers blow your mind? They make me crazy. There really is nothing I hate more than throwing away food gone bad. It's a complete waste of resources. There was the money to purchase it, the time to store it and then the effort to prepare. It's just ridiculous.

via

So here's my plan for saving food (and money too). I do these things and it helps eliminate most of the science experiments gone bad.

1. make a list- I have a sticky note on the fridge where I keep track of what's been put away. This is really great for Greg because when he's packing his lunch he can see what we have and choose that way. As we eat whatever it is, we just cross it off. Once the sticky note is full I start another one. It's super low tech but it works.
2. be realistic- I would like to be an adventurous chef but the truth is that I'm just not. We have our favorites so I try to stick to those types of food. Occasionally I will branch out and try completely different recipes but it doesn't make sense to purchase all new ingredients for an out of the ordinary dish. Try to buy things that can be used for multiple meals. Once I wanted to try a recipe that called for Old Bay seasoning. It ended up being really gross and now I have a container of Old Bay that I'll never use. It was like 6 bucks too. The moral of the story is don't reinvent the wheel every week. Try a new dish or two occasionally and see if it works for your family. 
3. don't overplan- I don't cook a brand new meal every night, instead I try to incorporate leftovers a few times a week. This helps keep the fridge cleaned out and makes my life easier.
4. do a weekly fridge cleanout- If you're cleaning out your fridge once a week then nothing really has a chance to go bad. That's when you'll find the things that you had forgotten about. I'm not talking about a serious hot water and bleach clean up (although that would be nice, someday...), just go through and pull out all the containers and see what you have. This is where you throw away what's unsafe. 

Those are a few of my thoughts, tell me, how do you keep the fridge from becoming a toxic waste dump and in the process save a little money?

Byron, Ellen. "When Good Fruit Goes Bad." Wall Street Journal 22 April 2015: D1. Print.

Book Review: The Millionaire Next Door by Thom Stanley

“The Millionaire Next Door” by Thomas J. Stanley Ph.D and William D. Danko Ph.D. has been hailed as a book that has changed lives and removed the mystery surrounding wealth building and acquisition. The authors compiled research that tracked everything from marital status, education, profession, to support given to children. It was eye- opening to see that the millionaire lifestyle is not what is portrayed in the media. It is not lavish and flamboyant, in fact it can sometimes be called boring. It is middle- class and not ostentatious.

Here are a few of the highlights from the New York Times Bestseller.

Reduce Debt- Right now the majority of our income is going to debt reduction but I can see that once we get out of debt, we will be able to invest that money in other things.  The average millionaire does not have any debt payments; they own their cars and homes, they don't use credit cards and they certainly don't have student loans! Instead they have been able to use their income to invest and grow their careers, all of this leading to wealth.

Marriage- The majority of millionaires have been married to just one person and have stable relationships. Now, I don’t believe that having more than one marriage automatically ousts you from the millionaire club but it does help to have that stability and support.

Economic Outpatient Care- There are more than 45 pages in the book that are dedicated toward showing the dangers of offering your children support after they have left the home. This is referred to as Economic Outpatient Care, EOC for short. Those that give their children EOC are not doing their children any favors. Instead they are creating children and grandchildren that will become dependent on handouts and unable to support their lifestyle on their own.

Time- “People who become wealthy allocate their time, energy and money in ways consistent with enhancing their net worth” (Stanley, p. 87). Simply put this means that if you hope to become wealthy you must work toward that goal. You have to spend time deciding where to build your career, how to invest and how to shelter your money from potential taxes. Greg and I review our budget, watch over our investments and plan for the future. We don't spend all of our time messing with our finances but it's definitely a priority.

Simple Steps- Being a millionaire is a dream that can feel out of reach for many of us but Stanley and Danko lay out 7 factors that will help those who are working toward the goal of wealthy. They are as follows:

1. live well below your means 
2. allocate your time, energy and money in ways conducive to building wealthy 
3. financial independence is more important than high social status 
4. parents did not provide Economic Outpatient Support 
5. adult children are economically self- sufficient 
6. proficient in targeting market opportunities 
7. choose the right occupation 

The greatest takeaway is that you just don't know who is a millionaire and the person you think is wealthy is probably not. Appearance isn't everything. Instead it's the people who live below their means and are stable and steady. Those are the winners.

*Book courtesy of my friend's husband via my friend! Thanks!

Stanley, Thomas J, Danko, William, D. (1996). The Millionaire Next Door: the surprising secrets of America’s wealthy. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster.

In Chronological Order

2002- Boy lives in one state, girl lives in another. Boy calls girl, they talk about nothing and everything. Several more calls happen. Boy and girl spend some time together. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy proposes to girl in an airport. Girl says yes.

2003- Girl moves to same state as boy. Boy and girl get married one really cold April day. Boy and girl are beyond happy. Girl sees a tiny little puppy and says "pretty please", boy sees puppy eyes and says yes.

2004- Puppy has a rival for boy and girl's affection when new baby girl comes along. Girl is pretty certain the people at the hospital are crazy to let her go home with a baby. Boy goes back to school.

2005- Boy and girl and new baby girl and not so tiny puppy move to a bigger house and are sure they'll never be able to use all the empty space.

2006- Boy and girl get a bit of a surprise when baby #2 is actually #2 and #3. Girl is now certain the people at the hospital won't let her go home with 2 babies. They do.

2007- Boy finishes school. Girl is very grateful to have a husband home in the evenings.

2008- Girl discovers her secret desire to run a marathon. Boy tells her to go for it and is now alone with three small children most Saturday mornings while girl runs. Girl runs marathon and swears to never participate in that kind of nonsense ever again. Boy is grateful to have a wife that can again walk up stairs without crying.

2009- Baby #4 comes along bringing the total to 2 boys and 2 girls. Those people at the hospital let girl take that baby home despite her serious doubts.

2010- Girl plans a really long road trip. Boy has doubts but goes along with yet another one of her crazy ideas. Girl begins to have doubts but she's made the plans and is stuck. Boy and girl pack the kids in the car and take off. Really long road trip ends up being lots of fun. Girl also struggles with untreated postpartum depression, that's a long uphill battle but eventually everyone survives.

2011- Girl decides it's time for her to go back to school and finish what she never really started.  Boy also decides to go back to school and get his Masters degree. That big house that seemed so empty is actually bursting at the seams.

2012- Girl thinks that life is kinda boring and that they need to mix things up a little.  So kids start ballet. Some of them play baseball. All of them swim. Girl wonders what she was thinking. Boy keeps going to school like the genius he is. Boy and girl dream about spending time together not doing homework. Girl also decides to run another marathon. This one was billed as "all downhill", she discovers the race directors were lying at about the 2 mile marker.

2013- Baby number #5 decides to finally join the fun. It's a beautiful little girl who is adored by all, she's a gift from above. Boy also discovers that his long time job is coming to an end. Together they decide to batten down the hatches and ride this storm out. Boy also graduates with a Masters degree and amazing grades. This is all while working and taking care of a growing family. Girl is in awe.

2014- A job takes a little while to finally come but they're okay because despite being unemployed they're happier than ever, the savings last just as long as they need to and all is well. New job arrives and brings many blessings. The things they have learned cause a major course correction.

2015- A brand new year brings new chances to change lives. It also brought heartache as we said goodbye to Doggie, she did more than her fair share of highchair crumb patrol and feet warming, we miss her everyday (not just because of the floor pick up, although it was one of the perks). Happily, the student loan debt is slowly but surely disappearing. All 5 kids are healthy and happy and well. Boy loves his job and looks forward to each day. Girl is still in school but is picking up the pace, big time. She has also finally decided on a career direction, when she grows up she wants to help other families in financial crisis. Boy and girl are more in love today than all those years ago.

The Jordan River Temple
where this all began 12 years ago

Yesterday was our 12th anniversary. We celebrated with the usual Sunday fun (scriptures gone missing, a baby who needed a nap, dinner with family), it was pretty great. It's also not anything that I could have dreamed of way back when we first got married but it's better than I had hoped. I love that husband of mine, he really is my better half. Everything good and wonderful in my life has come because of his love and support. And that's the truth.