The End

by Kristen

I did it. 30 days. Lots of good food.

It wasn't even that hard. Like I didn't feel like I was going to die because I wasn't eating pancakes (oh my word, I love pancakes).

I did slip up and eat some cookies on Day 26 or 27, I don't remember exactly which one. I do remember how bad I felt the next day. My stomach hurt. I felt like I was moving in slow motion. It was awful. One of the rules of Whole30 is that if you slip up, you should start over. The whole point of the Whole30 is to get all of those things that irritate your body, well, out of your body. That way you can really tell how your body reacts to certain things. I didn't start over but technically I should have. Oh well.

So what did I think?

I loved it! Absolutely loved the whole thing. My stomach stopped hurting after every meal. I didn't wake up feeling sluggish. I had more energy (not as much as I was hoping, but still...). I felt more focused. My clothes were looser. I weighed and measured myself at the end and I'd lost several inches and 7 pounds.

There's a reintroduction period that you're supposed to follow that I didn't. Like at all. In my defense there was a holiday (July 24th is a big deal in Utah), a birthday and a family reunion. My father in law put it best, he said "it's like we've all got IV's hooked up to the pantry and the valve is wide open". Yep. Agreed.

Sadly the IV theory didn't work out so great for me. That stomach pain that I had gotten rid of came back with a vengeance. I had heartburn. I was tired. Apparently there is a reason they recommend slowly easing yourself back into your old foods as you discover what works for you. Binging on cookies and birthday cake maybe isn't the way to go.

Will I do it again, this time following ALL the rules? For sure.

I didn't get the boost in energy I was hoping for but that could be partially due to 5 kids and my alarm clock. But I still felt better. I'll take that.

I've been given an incredible body that does amazing things everyday. I don't always love the way that it looks or the way that I feel but I'm trying to be kinder to myself. Right now that means cooling it on the dessert and feeding myself food that makes me happy. I'm going to try and take really good care of my body because it has to last me at least 70 more years! I'm totally planning on being a centenarian.

Halfway there!

It's Day 15 of my Whole 30 and I haven't died.

Which is sort of, but not really surprising because for 15 days I've been eating omelets, roast beef, nuts, mangos, berries, homemade mayonnaise, frozen bananas and my body weight in salads. Plus a bunch of other really good stuff but without any sugar, honey, grains, beans or dairy.

This is the longest I've ever stuck to an eating plan. I've beat my old record by 14 1/2 days. Yes, that is a true statement. Why has this one been so easy?

Well I think it helped that I told all of you guys what I was doing. I didn't want to look like (more of) a loser by failing right away so that kept me going. But really, it hasn't been that hard. Sometimes I'll get a little cranky because I want something off plan, like yesterday when 2 of my friends were talking about waffles and breakfast burritos. I sort of wanted to cry and punch them all at the same time. I took a few deep breaths and was okay.

My family knows what I'm doing and they've been really supportive. Especially my better half. Greg keeps saying that it's not a diet I'm on, it's a reset. I love that. I don't want my kids to think that I'm trying to get skinny, I make sure to always tell them that I'm just trying to figure out how food makes me feel. I think they're understanding what Greg and I are saying.

The first week was pretty brutal. There's a detox period you go through where your body is getting used to going without the sugar and other junk. I think it could have been worse because I'm not a soda or coffee drinker, those would have been hard to quit cold turkey. As it was I alternated between feeling on top of the world and wanting to scream at people for breathing too loud. Pleasant, right? Fortunately I think we're over that hump. People can now breathe around me without fear.

I'm still tired but I have tons of energy. That sounds like it should be an oxymoron but I swear it's true. I'm getting more done, the thought of folding laundry doesn't make me want to cry (at least not out loud), I just feel better.

I'm also getting to that annoying stage where I think everyone should give this a try. Beware if you have a birthday coming up, you might get a copy of the Whole 30 book (only $18 on Amazon (not an ad, just a good deal))!

In summary: Whole 30 might be the best idea I've had all summer. Besides the one where I insist my kids have quiet reading time every afternoon. Translation: 2 hours of quiet.

Enough is enough, I'm doing it.

via

I've gone back and forth. I've heard the great reviews and I've seen the amazing changes. I'm usually pretty resistant to change, even if that change might make me feel better.

But I think I've reached my breaking point. I mean, it's not normal to wake up after 8 hours of sleep and be exhausted. Not everyone has to take a nap every afternoon just to function. Or if you don't get your nap, you're worthless by 6 o'clock. Is that just me?

So what's the plan? Whole 30. You know where you eat lots of protein, fruits and veggies? You do it for 30 days and then begin to discover how food really makes you feel. I usually scoff at anything structured or regimented but I'm hoping this will be the thing that helps me figure out why I'm so tired.

I was talking to two friends who have done several cycles of Whole 30 and they couldn't say enough good things. It was actually a little shocking. When I asked them what they thought, I was expecting something along the lines of it's okay or that it's a lot of work but no, they were raving about how great they felt and the things that changed even after the cycle was over.

They told me about having more energy and feeling healthier. They've both lost a decent chunk of weight. That's not my main focus but I wouldn't turn it down!

I'm convinced. I spent last week reading the book "Whole 30" and preparing. I made my menu for the next week and I'm actually pretty excited. The food looks good and seems like it's not that far of a departure from what we're usually eating.

Today, Monday June 22, is Day 1. I'm telling you this so that you can keep me on track.

Oh but there is one question I have for you. What do I do about Cookie Day? The kids look forward to it every Friday. It's our thing, every Friday we make and eat cookies. I could probably still make the treats just for them but do I want to? Do I want to do that to myself? My willpower isn't made of steel! Ya know what I mean?!

Who made you the boss of me?

by Kristen

Why should you listen to me?

Well my kids (especially that cute one pictured above) ask that question and the answer to them is that I'm their mom and that's just the way life works.

Obviously that doesn't work for this space and you readers. You deserve more of an answer than "because I said so". You shouldn't ever follow any of my advice if it doesn't ring true to you.

I don't have degrees in finance (although I'm working on it) and I haven't been trained in child psychology or anything else child related (although, hello, I do live in a lab).

The only qualifications that I have are life experience and granted, I'm only 32 so my life experience isn't really that vast but it's also not non- existent (double negative!). I don't have lots of letters after my name and I don't have an overly dramatic story to tell.

But Greg and I are here in the trenches, we're in the middle of student loan debt and raising 5 kids and keeping a marriage strong. We've learned a few things and we want to share. I learn so much from other people's stories so I thought that by creating this space where Greg and I are real and open and honest, that maybe it will help you.

Of course that does open our life and our choices to criticism. But that's okay with us. Greg and I know that what we're doing is right for OUR life and OUR family. We have felt that this is the right thing for us to do and we'll keep doing it as long as we feel we need.

Don't do something that we suggest if it doesn't feel right and don't share if it's not something that you agree with.

But if it does feel right than we're glad we can help and if you do feel like sharing, thank you.

Ownership

My friend just got a new car. When they first picked it up, they posted the photos on social media with the caption that said something to the effect of: "This Baby is Mine!!". I am very excited for them and happy that they are happy. I would love to get a new vehicle as well.

Jeep Renegade

But somewhere along the way I have changed my thinking about ownership because of our goal to get out of debt. I started thinking about the phrase, "this baby is mine". There are two possibilities. The first is they have paid cash for the vehicle so they are free and clear of any payments so yes, it belongs to them, it's theirs and YAY! for them. The other option is that they have taken out a loan to finance the vehicle. So doesn't that mean the bank owns their vehicle? 

Am I off on that thought? 

I started to think about things that I have. Do I own them or does the bank own them? When we take out a loan for vehicles, houses, motorcycles, mattresses, etc. the bank holds the title until we pay it off. I'm thinking that the bank holds the title and the majority share until we've paid it off so they own it...

Candelight Homes SnowMass plan

When I think about things in that sense it makes me agitated and want to own the things that I have. I want them paid off so no one else owns them but me. For example I really like our house. We are comfortable in it and we have a great time living in it. We have so many memories that we have from living here. But I can't say it is mine, THE BANK OWNS more of it than I do and that bugs me.

So we will be plugging away on our debts and then tackle the house after that. One of the goals that we have, is that in the very near future we can say the house is officially ours.

If you agree or disagree we would like to hear about it. please respond in the comments below. We appreciate your input and you. Thank you!!

PS- the pictures above are just examples of stuff, not things that we have in our possession.

Different Hats

Disclaimer: I'm constantly learning how to live life. I don't ever claim to have all the answers! This is what's worked for me, you are probably different. And that's OK!!

I often get asked how I fit college into my life. People wonder how I take care of my family and work and go to school and still take naps. I answer with the flippant answer "that's a good question, I don't know!"

But even though it's hard for me to give serious answers, I do have a few tricks of the school/ family trade.

1. PLAN. Everything. Don't leave anything to chance. I have a planner from iheart organizing that I live by. It has our menu, everything I need to do and what I am expecting to get done during the week. It's even possible that I schedule naps for myself but I'll never tell. I plan out the next week on Sunday nights so that I know exactly what's on tap. I also use my trusty sticky notes to write down everything that is due in the coming week, I number each assignment in order of priority. That goes on my desk and as I complete an assignment I cross it off. That gives me an idea of where I need to be at each day of the week, that way I don't have the weekend rush trying to get everything done.
2. ELIMINATE. During the school year I don't (usually) do projects besides those related to school. I love home fix up and sewing and all those other time consuming projects but they aren't a priority during the school year. I also don't let myself read much of anything besides textbooks and my scriptures. I'm too easily distracted so if I don't even start than I'm better off. 
3. DELEGATE. The kids take care of most of the housework. I don't empty the dishwasher or dust. I don't take the garbage out and I certainly don't clean the kid's rooms. Yes that does mean that jobs don't always get done the way that I would like but I'm teaching my kids to be productive members of this family. That means that they take ownership for their zones and I don't follow behind touching up. I do know that there are some messes that I can't deal with so I do the vacuuming, sweeping, mopping and cleaning the bathrooms. I have a super quick routine that takes maybe 20 minutes 2 or 3 times a week. I won't win awards for the cleanest house but that's not really my goal.
4. ASK FOR HELP. On Saturday mornings my better half takes the kids and they go do something (anything really, just as long as it's not at the house) while I catch up on homework or take a nap. That's a chance for me to recharge and get ready for the next week. I look forward to that time alone. 
5. SAY NO. It kills me to say no but I can't do it all. I try to focus on the things that only I can do. I am a wife and a mother first, student second. Everything else can and will be done by someone else. And if you have known me for any length of time you'll know how hard that is for me to say!
6. DIVINE INTERVENTION. I can't do any of what I do without help from God. I constantly pray to do what needs to be done. He always amazes me with His perfect answers.

And of course there are days when everything falls apart and it's all I can do to make it to bedtime. That's when I try to remember that this is the busy season of my life and I'm okay with that. Occasionally I feel like I'm running around with no purpose but when I look back at what I'm doing I'm sort of blown away. I don't say that to brag but because I think that we're all like that. We are all doing amazing things and we don't even realize the greatness. 

Hmmm...

I am not always the best husband and father in the world. Sometimes the kids make me crazy so I yell and get frustrated. Sometimes I make Kristen crazy when I say things or don't do something. I want to be a better husband and father but life happens sometimes. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone either, I think we've all felt like we're doing the best we can and it's just not good enough.

Why does this happen, especially to generally good people who are trying hard to be the best they can? I think it's a lot of things. I know sometimes when I am hungry I am a little uptight and can be more snarky. I might be thinking about something and Kristen or the kids ask a question and I answer without paying attention. It could be what type of mood I'm in right that second. Or it could be Christmas day and the kids are running around and jumping on things from the massive sugar intake. Dealing with the sugar/ activity crash requires serious patience. Those are a few of the things that affect my well being, I know for sure there are a lot of things that affect my state of mind.

But here's what I do know: no matter how deep a hole we are in because of something said or not done, no matter how insane the kids are, basically no matter what, there's hope. I feel that as long as I am trying to do my best and striving to serve those around me, things seem to work out. That is of course as long as we don't stop trying.

We do have to recognize when we did something wrong. We do have to make an effort to correct the problem. If we do those things along with caring about the people around us and trying to serve them. That's when I think we overcome our challenges. That's when we win at life and at our marriages and our families.

It is the same with our finances. Sometimes we get distracted and forget to budget. Other times we feel like we deserve something so we purchase it. I am hungry so I can’t wait five minutes until I get home to make a sandwich. Things happen and life happens. Sometimes it can turn into a big hairy mess (our story) but it's never beyond hope, I have a sure knowledge of that.

If we at least start and if we try to make a budget and pay things off it works out. When we do the best we can with the money God gives us it is certain to work out. Kristen and I have made such tremendous strides this past year and a half. We have paid off so many debts. All because we decided to not let our past mistakes define our future. I know it works. I know it will work for you. Let me throw in a rodeo analogy here; take that leap of faith, grab your financial steer by the horns and wrestle it to the ground!

5 Words

The kids hear them all the time.

I start to say it and they can finish my sentence.

It's pretty much my go to answer for oh, everything.

It's. Not. In. The. Budget.

In fact, I don't even have to say "it's not in the budget" anymore, I just say "5 words" and they get it.

Here's the crazy thing, there's really not that much whining or complaining. No, they're not robot kids but they understand that you have to plan for things. Life doesn't get to just happen while you run around reacting.

Greg and I evaluate and adjust our budget every couple of weeks. When we have those budget planning meetings we look at the calendar and plan for things that are coming. We plan for activities, we plan for family outings, plus all of the regular things that come up like fees and doctor's visits. Everything is planned for and as near as possible we plan for life, well, happening. Sometimes things will come up and we will make adjustments (always talking to each other first) but usually when the kids are asking for something it's along the lines of Dunford Donuts (try some, you will die) or a museum trip. Those are things that can be planned for but unless it's in the budget it ain't happening!

We're under a big ol' pile of debt and we're doing everything that we can to dig our way out. We've cut back. We're working crazy hours. We're praying constantly for a way out of this mess. We also budget very carefully and once we have budgeted we live by that plan. It's our guide for a way out of this disaster!

So when kids (and adults) start asking for stuff around here the answer is simple.

5 words.

*And yes, the picture that accompanies this post is misleading, it's not about donuts but really can you go wrong with a Chocolate Chocolate Donut? Nope, didn't think so!

Body Shaming, Ballet and Bicep Curls

Here's one of the great paradoxes of life: I want my children to grow up with healthy body images but I also want to lose the last of my extra (can't call it baby because it was there long before) weight. Can I still work on creating a healthy body but still teach that people are beautiful no matter their shape and size?

I have friends that suffer from poor self esteem and have an awful perception of their bodies because they grew up in homes that were obsessed with image and body size.

I'm doing all I can to NOT have that in our home!

But I am also dedicated to exercise and am always trying to develop healthier habits. 

Does that make me obsessed? Does that give my kids an unrealistic view of what health is? Do they think that they won't be good enough unless they do those things?

So far I've lost about 25 pounds and I sort of cringe a little when people say something. Not because I don't want people to notice, believe me, I love the compliments! I just worry when my children hear people say things like "you look so great", I wonder if they think that I didn't look good before and that maybe the only way to look good is to be thin. I wonder.

Am I worrying about something that isn't even worth worrying about? I am really careful to never talk about dieting, I only talk about healthy eating and how food makes my body feel. I talk about how strong I feel from lifting weights and how good it feels to run. We never shame our bodies or anyone else's! We also don't use descriptors like fat, thin, big, small, etc. So I feel like we're on the right track. 

I guess I just worry. Two of my girls are in ballet and we all know that the dance world is littered with eating disorders. I hope that they are seeing healthy habits modeled and that they understand that their worth is not dependent on their waist size or by what they weigh. And no, I don't think men are immune to eating disorders and to challenges realted to body image. I am just as careful around them.

I love the body I've been blessed with. It's done some pretty amazing things and I'm in awe of the majesty of the human body. It is without a doubt evidence of a Divine Creator. I am also trying to make it into the best possible version of myself, a version that isn't influenced by a photo shopped image, rather one that feels the very best.

I just hope that in my effort to create my best self that I am not hurting my children. Does that make sense?

Pancakes and Perfection

I work out 6 days a week lifting heavy weights and/ or running. I don't ever drink soda or juice or energy drinks (gross), it's just water and an occasional glass of milk. I stay moving all day long and I'm pretty good about what I eat but you know what? I still eat pancakes. And muffins. And dessert. And lots of other things that aren't what some people would call "clean".

There are people that are much better eaters than I am, they can consistently make healthy choices and it works for them.

But not for me. I have found a place where I feel good, I'm making progress and I'm really happy with where I am right this moment. I'm good with the pancakes.



Greg and I have completely overhauled our finances and we are totally focused on our goals. There isn't any room in our thinking for splurges or unplanned expenses. It's working for us.

But it doesn't work for everyone. I didn't start out working out at this level. I've been building to it for years. We didn't become financial wizards overnight, okay actually we're not wizard level yet, I'm thinking apprentice... but whatever you call us, it has taken time. There have been a lot of times where it felt overwhelming and a little hopeless but we didn't stop looking forward.

I hope that the dedicated eaters among us don't judge me because I make and eat seriously good pancakes. I'm doing what works for me and my situation.

I don't ever want you, my reader friend to think that we're judging you because of your financial decisions. We are all in different places. What matters is that we keep working. Don't give up because you overspent last week. Don't stop trying to get control of your money. This is a process and it takes time.

I'll keep making tiny strides to eating a little better and you keep working on your money.

We'll get there.